Funny Captions #61 - #80

Funny Caption #61

A collaboration between KFC and Crocs
 (available in Spring 2020)

"This is what you get when you cross a chicken with Crocs."

"I'm too chicken to wear these shoes!"

"Some food for foot."

"Yummy...it's toe lickin' good!"

"Finally there's somebody you can ask 'why the chicken cross the road'..."

"Would you like some fries with your shoes, m'am?"

"Just what the podiatrist ordered." 

"If you accidentally drop some sauces onto these shoes, they become more tasteful."

"Do my feet look fat in these? Or wearing them make my feet fat?"

"A convenient marriage of fast food and low fashion."

"At last, somebody finds a way to fill my void with both food and fashion at the same time. Two for the price of one. Or more correctly, two birds with a pair of shoes. Yay!"

---

Funny Caption #62

Victorian photograph that documents
 ladies' hairstyles

"This is not one of those so called backlight photography, is it?"

"Victorian ladies are so camera shy."

"Photographic evidence that Victorian women are backward."

"Hey everybody! Look at this beautiful wall painting!"

"Is it something I said? " Asks the photographer

---

Funny Caption #63

"Just taking a smoking break from the pandemic."

"He's smoking in a Beijing's smog-free zone."

"Excuse me sir...where can I buy these smoker friendly mask?"

"Please take note that my cigarette has an air filter."

"Does this mask come in a smooth menthol flavour too?"

"Is that a legal loophole?"

"Warning: smoking cigarette or drinking disinfectant won't kill Coronavirus. Just you."

---

Funny Caption #64

a praying mantis catches a lizard

"How does that grab ya?"

"Praying mantis? No, preying mantis!"

"Bite off more than you can chew?"

"Praying? Man 'tis a meal!"

"It's gonna go straight to my thigh. Heck, it's not everyday I'm having lizard for dinner!"

"Relax lizard. You should hear a crack, then it's fixed."

"Look closely, Jackie Chan! I only show you once!"

"This meat is good enough to die or kill for..."

"We can start off with cleaning, and then we'll move to that loose tooth."

"Time for a new handbag."

"It'll be all over pretty soon lizard. I'm quite hungry."

"Listen to the sound of my voice...your eyelids are getting heavier and heavier..."

---

Funny Caption #65

Taken 1939

"Take that, Hitler!"

"Show me what you've got, Tommy!"

"Ok, I'll take four of these for starter."

"She's smokin' !"

"Military umbrella provides a strategic cover."

"Duck season? Rabbit season?"

"Cloudy with a chance of lead and mist."

"Dressed to kill?"

---

Funny Caption #66

Plex'Eat bubble prototype designed for physical separation in restaurants
by French designer Christophe Gernigon

"A device to let you pretend hard of hearing and avoid those awkward dinner conversations. Social distancing, right?"

"I always find low hanging chandeliers a bit intrusive."

"Bubblehead idea?"

"Time saver for busy people. Get your hair done while you eat."

"Introducing the new line of Maxwell Smart's Cone of Silence for monologue."

"Ding! A lightbulb lit up above Mr. Germigon's head."

"The internet is finally extended to real life: staying in your own comfy echo bubble."

---

Funny Caption #67

"Toilet with a view."

"'WC' stands for either 'Watch Covertly' or 'Wait Courteously'."

"Audition couch for exhibitionists."

"A convenient bus stop."

"Please lady first, I insist!"

"Betting is strictly prohibited."

"We don't believe in putting up walls, and we're big on open door policy."

"Our architect has never told us that he belongs to the School of Minimalism."

"Nervous? Why not start with a joke, or picture your audience naked..."

"Embarrassing budgeting errors being exposed."

"Ladies and germs, welcome to Wikileaks!"

---

Funny Caption #68

Mannequin in a restaurant in Virginia, USA to enforce social distancing

"Is that a dummy...Pardon my French...a mannequin sitting over there?"

"Tell me. What a classy doll-face like you doing in a joint like this?"

"Waiter, have you seen my dummy husband?"

"Miss Lovelace, would you rather dine with a real man like me?"

"Very funny! I asked for a blind date. Not a mute date!"

"Social distancing is a dish best served empty with a side of mannequin."

"Fake news, deep fries fakes, fake meats, and now fake diners? What's next on the menu?" 

---

Funny Caption #69

Inflatable dolls placed in a restaurant in
South Carolina, USA to maintain distancing

"She blows!"

"What are you looking at? Never seen a sexy doll before y'all?"

"Make it snappy waiter! I'm running on empty here."

"I don't like to dress too formal for dinner. I don't wanna look fake."

"Who would have known that she's so long winded?"

"No smoking please! I'm highly inflatable or unstable or something-able..."

"What do I think of Covid-19? I'm deflating just talking about it!"

"All I'm saying is, too much stimulus will lead to huge inflation in the private sector. Is that what you want, Ken? Do ya?"

---

Funny Caption #70

"Online delivery during a power outage."

"You like my anklet?"

"Not a murder of crows. Just one."

"Edgar Allan Poe sends his greetings."

"You said I should bring something for the picnic."

"Die Krähe, Schubert!  Die!"

---

Funny Caption #71

"She's a perfect shoe-in for that bartender vacancy."

"The serviette and sandal should keep her clothes from getting dirty."

"It's best not to put your foot in your month in a party. However, your footwear is more than welcomed."

"Meanwhile at a gas station, I heard somebody yell out, 'fill her up'."

"An attempt to add earthiness to the wine?"

"Open Sesame! Here's Johnnie!" 

"Where rubber meets the throat."

"At least, the sandal is a Goodyear."

"The first step of mummification."

"A mutant strain of the HFMD virus - being coined the Hand, Footwear and Mouth Disease - is spreading at an alarming rate via the transmission mode of binge drinking."

---

Funny Caption #72

Shadow cast by Curiosity rover on Martian soil

"Snorkeling gear wearing Matt Damon is fueling Curiosity rover with a one gallon milk bottle."

"Doc Emmit Brown taking parts from the rover for the repair of his DeLorean time machine in order to travel back to year 2033."

"A movie poster for Capricorn Two, a sequel to Capricorn One (1977)."

"There's nowhere in the Solar System that's safe from car thief anymore."

"A brave Martian fights the rover, defending its homeland from space invader from planet Earth."

---

Funny Caption #73

Photo was taken in the 1910 - 20s

"Two for the price of one promotional deal (for the ads that is)."

"Personal classifieds in Utah's local newspaper?"

"Sometimes a swing is just a swing."

"Marrying into a family or marrying the whole family?"

"It is universally acknowledged that men are known to be incapable of reading subtle courtship signs. Bigger signs then?"

"With the advent of film photography, the matchmakers have been replaced by the photographers, whose future is bright."

---

Funny Caption #74

"Tourist!"

"City folk!"

"Holy macro, Batman!"

"Maybe what I need is that robe, not this rope."

"There's the mere mortal way, and then there's the Buddha Way." 

"Look at him go! Jesus Christ!"

"His enlightened feet aggravate my heart."

"What the investment world calls 'Climbing the Wall of Worry'. Seems impossible, but there it is. Believe your eyes, not your brains."

---

Funny Caption #75

Photo circa 1950. A lady with a smoky voice...

"A sure-fire way to get a heartburn."

"Allo, allo! This is Brigette smoking...excusez moi...speaking!"

"Dunhill had a fire sale and I bought a truckload. They expire in a few months."

"I've lots of money to burn. So choke on it!"

"I'm a busy exec. I want to smoke a pack in the time other smokes a cigarette."

"Can't decide if I want to smoke a pipe or a cigarette...voila!"

"Don't stay too close to this femme fatale. Or you'll be driven to tears."

"I want to live fast, die young and leave a bellediful corpse. C'est la vie!"

"She inhales O₂, and exhales CO₄₀."

"Chain smoking? That's so passé. Try the chic centipede smoking!"

"Nothing I can say. A total eclipse of the lung." (this caption should be sung like Bonnie Tyler)

"I'll start with burning cigarettes, and then move onto my brassieres in the next decade or so. I'm trying to make a political statement. Okay?!"

---

Funny Caption #76

A fly landed on Mike Pence during 2020 VP Debate

"There's no need to be a fly on the wall or on the head. The Debate is widely televised."

"'Fly, Mike Pence, fly!', the moderator pointed to his head."

"The debate would be perfect if it weren't for that fly in the ointment on his hair."

"Liar liar, fly on Pence hair!"

---

Funny Caption #77

Phragmotic-headed ant. Image by Alex Wild

"My mum the Queen Ant dropped me on my head when I was a baby."

"Say what? You want to use my head to plug your bottle of wine?!"

"I can hold several numbers, as well as carry them over in my head."

"Sometimes on the 6th Day (about 10:56pm), while creating ants, God got bored, and needed a little variety for laughs."

"So glad I don't attend normal ant schools."

"I once read book under a tree, and then an apple fell on me." - Issac Newton (allegedly)

"I totally hate that 'Knock knock, who's there?' joke. So stop it!"

"The hammerhead shark and me is a now an item. We go together like hammer and nail ever since it side-eyed me."

"If I compliment your head, would you be flattered?"

"It's a good thing that I'm not a tyre, a champagne, or a battery."

---

Funny Caption #78

Tiktoker Larz licked toilet bowl
for the "coronavirus challenge"

"Doggone it!"

"Delishits!"

"Hey buddy, you miss a spot on the left..."

"I hope you wipe your mouth afterwards with toilet paper. But don't use too much due to shortage." 

"To make my video go viral, I just need to eat some virus. Who would've thought?"

"Have a go at the Darwin Awards for 2020?"

"When Andy Warhol spoke about 15 minutes of fame, he didn't say anything about toilet fixture. That's more like his influencer Marcel Duchamp's thing."

"I do this so my doctor will see me. TV's Dr. Phil, that is."

---

Funny Caption #79

Teleprompter was used for the first time in
Dwight Eisenhower's 1952 presidential campaign

"This speech flows like waterfall."

"Four scores and seven feet away, our team brought forth this teleprompter..."

"A long long time ago in a speech header far, far away..." (accompanied by the Star War theme music)

---

Funny Caption #80

"Monkey see, monkey do, of the worst kind."

"This really blows!"

"I just love to light up a stick of Winston, morning, noon and night."

"See no evil. Smoke no Camel..."

"Them monkeys have gone bananas."

"Dr. Zira is smoking, lost in deep contemplation about George Taylor."

"Thanks God for the lighter. It's easier to get fire from rubbing a stick than striking a match with these giant tree hanging hands."

"I really enjoy that mild, sophisticated fragrance. So refined. So me."

"In the future, we would need to put warning on the cigarette package about the loss of tree swinging performance due to smoking."

"Human is trying to remove the Simian threat by helping them to devolve."

"Smoking the souvenir from tourists."