Saturday, July 29, 2023

Funny Captions #41 - #60

 Funny Caption #41

bear tries to get to champain bottle
"Come here love, just a little peck. Alright, at least a bear hug..."

"C'mon man, sharing is caring."

"You had your turn, and now it's mine."

"Not now bear, I'm having a headache."

"Stop, or I'll call the circus!"

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!"

"Hand it over. You WON'T find the answer in a bottle."



 Funny Caption #42

Restaurant scene with oddly similar customers

"The restaurant's menu contains a huge variety of food. But it can't be said about the customers."

"Is this a glitch in the Matrix, like déjà vu?"

"The Matrix got lazy and sloppy, resorting to the clone tool for their CGI."

"A tricorder would be very useful for the purpose of investigation of this phenomenon." - Mr. Spock



 Funny Caption #43

Funny Photo: Joe Biden and Hilary Clinton

"Stop Joe! I'm ticklish! Please stop!"

"Did you lose weight ?"

"Sorry for the body frisk. Standard airport procedure, you understand."

"Joe, I think you do the Heimlich maneuver all wrong !"

"I know...I'm bad at goodbye too, Joe..."

"For the next act, I'll make a coin appear from your armpit."


 Funny Caption #44

bear statue holding a female

Spoiler alert: the following captions all come from lines from classic movies that occur near finale,

"Stella !"   --- A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)

"Damn you all to hell !"   --- Planet of the Apes (1968)

"Huuurrrgrrrhowlhgrrhhhhohhhhh..."   --- Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)


 Funny Caption #45

Funny photo: auctioneer break Ming vase

"Going, going, gone...to pieces !"

"Record breaking...pain!"

"Lot No. 13. Ming vase. $4 million. Sold!.....To me!"

"Do I hear $500? Do I hear $550? Do I hear $5? Do I hear $1?"



 Funny Caption #46

queen Elisabeth II


"Yes dear, I own Australia, Canada, New Zealand, etc, etc, etc..."

"I love headgear. This one is my favourite."

"Diamonds and kingdoms are forever."

"Let me assure you, Illuminati or the Rothschilds are nothing to be afraid of...muahahaha!"

"Despite having dominion over 1/6 of the world landmass, I still have no control over what comes out of the mouth of the Duke of Edinburgh..."

"Shhh...don't tell the British public that I am of German descent."

"If you want tips on winning horse races, write to me. I'll let you know via a town crier."

"And the next country goes to..."


 Funny Caption #47

Actor Gary Cooper reading a film script while drinking and smoking
Actor Gary Cooper reading a film script.
He's well known for starring in Western movie

 


"You would be wrong if you think his ears are idle. They're listening to music. All senses are in action."

"Time is money."

"I may try Camel milkshake one day."



 Funny Caption #48


"Demagogue and Dictator."

"Dotard and Rocket Man."

"Border wall Vs DMZ."

"Post-truth Vs propaganda." 

"Russia collusion Vs U.S. collision."

"Bully and the Beast."

"Whirlwind comb-over Vs sit-tight hair-cut."

"Chjaina Vs neighbor."

"Golden shower Vs black rain."

"'My button is bigger than yours' Vs 'Your hands are smaller than mine'."

"Hot lover of daughter Vs cold killer of half-brother."

"3rd generation of Trumpire Vs 3rd generation of Hermit Kimdom."


 Funny Caption #49


"I need some peace and quiet! Just leave me alone!"

"Psst...Can you hear it? The neighbours are at it again!"

"...98, 99, 100. Here I come, ready or not!"

"I put on 3 ounces. Stop looking at me!"

"Please come out and play Jerry...I've already apologized. What's more do you want from me?"

"Call the exterminator. I see a row of huge termites !"

"Mine oh mine. This fresh wall paint smells just like catnip. I can stand here all day."

"An Israeli Jewish cat."


 Funny Caption #50


"Art of the Deal Not."

"You're fired !"

"Tremendous! Massive! Yuuuge! Sad!"

"Jaina, Jaina, Jaina!"

"Rule by Twitter."

"Post-truth trumps facts."

"A very stable genius."

"#MeFirstAmerica #AmericaFirst"

"Bing bing bong bong..."

"Fake news. Fox News."

"Dieing, honered, lasting peach..."

"...peachy dory, smocking gun, unpresidented..."

"...Alex Baldwin, Theresa May, Tim Apple, Melanie Trump..."

"Favorite foods: KFC, covfefe, and hamberders."

"Make America Hate Grey Great Again."

"Whose boat is this boat? Who pays for the wall?"

"We need a President who isn't a laughing stock to the entire World..." - Aug 2014 tweet

"I can do whatever I want."

"You're going to be so sick and tired of whining winning !"

"The New World's Don Quixote (who fights windmills)."

"Like the world has never seen."

"Believe me !"


 Funny Caption #51

Woman pulling a monitor

"Just walking my pet monitor."

"Leading technology."

"Screen saver."

"Computer is such a drag."

"How to capture a screen."

"I'm gonna drag and drop it into a trash can."

"Eat your heart out, cave man !"

"Take. Tug. Tow."


 Funny Caption #52

Toilet sign, Great Wall of China

"The Call to Nature."

"A long long way to go."

"A Bridge Toilet Too Far."

"Hold the fort."

"Mountain pass water."

"Borderline bladder problem."

"Far From the Madding Crowd."

"An inconvenient convenience."

"War and Piss."


 Funny Caption #53

A man with many clothes

"If you think you're cold, take a look at him."

"Busy man is airing his clothes."

"A man of winter season."

"Dressed up to the nine (pieces)."

"Where did I put my car key? Phone? Coins?"

"Weather man foretells an unreasonable fashion or a fashionista forecasts an unseasonable weather?"

"There will be problem for him boarding a budget airline."

"Knife protection for living in a rough neighbourhood."

"Getting ready for all occasions."

"A pickpocket's nightmare."

"According to biologist, a layer of jacket will be shed once a week until summer."

"The last fashion faux pas you want to commit is wearing these outfits in the wrong order."

"Stop rushing me, I've only 5 more jackets to put on."

"Sometimes, you just can't decide what to wear."


 Funny Caption #54

Asian man with many cats

"Cats: the purrfect companions."

"Excuse me sir, are you or any of your cats Burmese by any chance?"

"The more the meowrier."

"His company of cats gives me paws."

"There's gonna be such a cat fights over his inheritance some days."

"Dr. No and his Pussy Galore."

"Me 'n Mao."

"Cat man Du."


 Funny Caption #55

cats with umbrella

"Another purrfect day in a park ruined by La Niña."

"I was so looking forwards to this National Dog Parade, and then the rain comes."

"You laughed when I took the umbrella this morning...Who's got the last laugh now?"

"It looks like the Monsoon started early this year..."

"Tell me Mimi, when will I ever overcome my fear of water?"

"I'm wondering when are they gonna invent poncho for cats?"

"It's raining us and dogs."

"I want to know. Have you ever seen the rain coming down in a sunny day?"


 Funny Caption #56


"I do practice safe driving. I've my headgear on."

"Hey man, where can I buy a bike like that?"

"I'm over the alcohol limit to drive."

"Time is money. So I multitask."

"What the world needs now is another backseat driver!"

"They call me Dances with Bike."

"Hello Sanjay, meet Invisible Man. Invisible Man, this is Sanjay"

"Look mum, no hands!"

"I don't have a driver license, but have found a legal loophole."

"Evidently, Indian's self driving technology is light years ahead of everyone else's."


 Funny Caption #57

Kim Jong Un on White Horse


"Better be quick, KFC is closing soon. Yee-haw!"

"Just remember I left my oven on!"

"An animal was hurt during the filming of this video."

"The Glorious people of Korea, let me take you for a ride!"

"An ads for the introduction of DPRK's new speedy postal service."

"First, it was Putin on a horse, now it's Kim, who's next? Xi or Trump?"

"It doesn't matter if the horse is black or white, as long...who am I kidding? It does!"

"Snow White and Dopey."

"Better lock up your daughters, Prince Jong-Un is here !"

"Severe oil embargo from the West has finally produced results."


 Funny Caption #58

Torn Jean

"A silver moth infestation."

"Grandpa insists it's time for a new pair of pants."

"You need to be filthy rich to afford these rags."

"Recipe for an unsymmetrical tan lines."

"Pants are 30% off and 10% discount."

"Edward Scissorhands' lover."


 Funny Caption #59

Sunning buttholes
Sunning Buttholes "Wellness"

"Good wellness idea? Please allow me to offer a re-butt-hole..."

"Quite sure this won't make them the butts of the joke."

"The expression 'where the sun don't shine' would have to be changed from now on."

"Holey macaroni !"

"Sunning anus has a leg (or two) up on public planking, which started in Down Under."

"Hey, it's rude to point!"

"They take the expression 'let the sunshine in' too literally."

"Avert your gaze and never stare at the sun. In this case, you'll go blind if you don't look at the sun."

"Look, down on the ground! It's a bird, it's a banana, it's an a-hole!"

"Don't pooh-pooh it until you try it."

"They're clearly astronomy enthusiasts: they embrace the sun, black holes, asteroids and Uranus."

"Don't try this at home folks. Try it outdoor instead!"

"ET, welcome to Planet Earth."

"Out of coffee? No problem. Substitute it with sunlight, and it's freeeeeeee!"

"The great apes have evolved from Homo erectus to Homo ridiculus (walking on backs)."

"The Fermi Paradox is solved: this sight makes aliens reverse course faster than the speed of light."


 Funny Caption #60

A collaboration between KFC and Crocs
 (available in Spring 2020)

"This is what you get when you cross a chicken with Crocs."

"I'm too chicken to wear these shoes!"

"Some food for foot."

"Yummy...it's toe lickin' good!"

"Finally there's somebody you can ask 'why the chicken cross the road'..."

"Would you like some fries with your shoes, m'am?"

"Just what the podiatrist ordered." 

"If you accidentally drop some sauces onto these shoes, they become more tasteful."

"Do my feet look fat in these? Or wearing them make my feet fat?"

"A convenient marriage of fast food and low fashion."

"At last, somebody finds a way to fill my void with both food and fashion at the same time. Two for the price of one. Or more correctly, two birds with a pair of shoes. Yay!"





Sunday, July 23, 2023

Funny Captions #21 - #40

 Funny Caption #21


"When a designer takes away a zipper, it opens a window."

"This outfit really breathes, through its nostril."

"You're really breathing new life into the fashion industry."

"Warning label suggests considerable shrinkage during wintertime."

"Excuse me sir, I think your fly has flown away!"




Funny Caption #22

Green Frog Lying on its Back of a Floating Lotus Leaf

"Ah...I love a dragonfly-filled summer day...."

"Sweet! Nothing beats nature's water bed !"

"That's the last time I visit the Museum of Insects. Aka All-You-Can-Eat buffet restaurant."

"That's life. Nothing quite like a good lie down after a heavy meal."

"Aargh! I should have stopped at 30 dragonflies."

"The pain! I should never mix butterflies with house flies."

"Come and feel it honey! My 50 tadpoles are kicking me."




Funny Caption #23

Cat that looks like an owl

"Don't just stand there like an idiot, get me down!"

"Oh Lord, I dunno how long this branch is gonna hold me !"

"Don't shoot. This isn't my best angle!"

"Stop pretending. You are NOT an owl."




Funny Caption #24

A todler sucking the breast of a statue of a female

"Instinctual drive towards Mother Nature."

"Holy cow! Din-din comes unexpectedly early today."

"A Hunger for Art."

"Hmm...feel like frozen milk..."

"An artistic nourishment."

"Art sucks!"

"Yummy / Mommy is in the eye of the toddler."

"Trick or t[r]eat? It's trick!"

"You've got my total divided attention."

"An Unmovable Feast."

"I came, I saw, I surrendered!"

"A cultural care au pair."

"A case of mistaken identitit."



Funny Caption #25

Cat on the other side of the fence

"Psst! Over here!"

"Give me fist bumps!"

"Guess which of my paw has the coin."

"Up, up and away!"

"Listen to me carefully. The boogie man is REAL!"

"Look into my eyes...you're feeling very sleepy..."




Funny Caption #26

Funny photo, Funny caption, Cat looking at a pigeon with plastic cup in its beak

"Look what I found, Kitty!"

"Don't give it to me! The trash can is over there."

"Would it kill you to leave some coke for me?"

"How many times must I warn you that the human trash bin is full of animal traps!"

"Look! I've told you a thousand times. I'm not into discarded plastic cup!"

"It's so like you...only come to me when you need my help."

"Finally, a good night sleep!"

"Can't hear you birdie...Cat got your tongue?"




Funny Caption #27

George W. Bush kisses Lyudmila Putin
Putin's wife Lyudmila kissing George W Bush


"Leave some for me, Lyudmila!"

"Don't forget to breath, dear."

"With a kiss like that, Lyudmila, are you asking for a divorce?"

"Vladimir, please understand, George has been practicing this kiss with the mirror for days."

"Détente isn't a French term for French kissing..."

"Kiss Not for Press."

"I looked the man in the eye. Then I kissed his wife."



Funny Caption #28

Double MacDonald's restaurant billboards

"Double Arches serving double ads."

"Are you sure it's 197 m, and not 198 m?"

"Are there two skinny MacDonald's restaurants side by side, or just one big one?"

"Mmm...I'm losin' it."

"Apparently, there's a buy-one-get-one-free deal on advertising spaces."

"These billboards are put up for very tiny diners who walk extremely slowly."

"Designed for those who like to ask, 'Are we there yet?'"




Funny Caption #29

wearing a shoe on her head

"Shoe fashion these days is so over the top !"

"I think you're wearing it wrong..."

"It's always handy to have a spare shoe."

"She's head over heels for that high heel over her head."

"That shoe is just too big for her head."

"A heady mix of fashion."

"Are you going to walk upside down?"

"That high heel is sure to make you look much taller."

"You look different...Did you do something with your hair?"

"Black shoe is the new hat."

"Can't find your shoe? It's always the last place you look!"



Funny Caption #30

Angry cat holds up fist

"Don't make me angry...you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!"

"Cats of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your collars!"

"Come any closer, and you will get the taste of my Fist of Fury."




Funny Caption #31


"This way to the express ride to ground floor."

"The end of a corporate ladder."

"Shortcut to instant news headline."

"Staircase to heaven."

"Exit stage right."

"3-step program to everlasting financial freedom."




Funny Caption #32

Soldier hanging on airplane's wing

"How's hanging, my wingman?"

"Severe military budget cuts."

"A misunderstood wingman."

"Aerial gunner."

"Military hanger."

"Misguided missile."

"Low level combat."




Funny Caption #33

Bulldog sits on a stool in a bar
An English bulldog



"No bull, I saw a dog in an English pub."

"Ah...nothing's quite like a cold one on a dog day afternoon."

"Have you seen my bitch here earlier?"

"Your beer has gone to the dogs: warm and tepid, mate!"

"Excuse me, bartender...I'm still waiting for my nuts!"

"Just curious, do you know how to do a Bloodhound Martini?"

"Hey bartender, you wouldn't believe what I saw in a bar yesterday!"

"Have you heard the one about a priest, a rabi and a minister walk into a bar?"




Funny Caption #34

Pants with sleeves

"Look what I've found in the 'Specials' bin..."

"Does it come with wearing instruction?"

"Basic contortionist training gear."

"ET shops here!"

"Look y'all, pants with handy holsters for my rifles!"

"Never operate a sewing machine when drunk."

"Does my bum look big in this?"




Funny Caption #35

fashion that resembles a penis

"Let me slip into something more bananas."

"It's so stiff hat I can hardly walk."

"Is that your costume or are you just happy to see me?"

"Obviously not a superhero. A superhero would wear his underwear on the outside."

"Isn't that this the most painful place to sew on a zipper?"



Funny Caption #36

DVD discs as bikini

"DVDs on sales?"

"You know, seashells are more traditional and biodegradable..."

"I wish she has a smaller DVD collection."


"Good on ya for recycling old DVDs."

"I'm bored. You've got any sci-fi from the 1990s or anything with Raquel Welch in it?"


"Wearable siren songs."


"I hope all the DVDs are blanks. You just don't know who have watched them."


"DVDs are oh so out of fashion now. The latest things are USB drives or micro memory cards."




Funny Caption #37


"Woohoo! You've bought my fave drinks!"

"OMG! What a mess, Mr. Hart !"

"Wow! All these for 500 Yens. This is unbelievabull!"
(Apparently, this is a Japanese cat, who speaks English)

"You promised catnip! I don't see catnip! @#$% mememiew dog @**$% sh!t %# !!!"
(I don't have 100% proficiency in cat speak)




Funny Caption #38

Old traditional village women gather around looking at a laptop, laughing

"This clothing store has an amazing range of folk wear for all occasions."

"The 3G wi-fi is slow here. I hope I'm still alive when the site finishes loading its home page."

"If you click this button, you can make him dance."

"This seniors dating site would give us some ideas where our men are up to these days."

"It's easy! Just click this button if you want to be my friend."



Funny Caption #39

Horse in store

"I'm Francis...what's your name?"
(For those who are too young to get the joke, click here. And my real name is Francis)

"Get up man, stop horsing around."

"What did you eat for lunch?"

"Sorry for the back kick...Don't EVER sneak up on me again !"


"Excuse me, sir. You can't sleep in the store."

"Get up, you big baby...I've had enough of your tantrum !"

"Sit. Now, roll over. Play dead. Good man!"

"Don't just stand there, Francis. Give me a hoof."



Funny Caption #40

Window climbing during the Running of the bull

"I've just noticed how many blasted window grills there are in this place."

"Get down. I promise I won't ram you guys. No bull !"

"From this angle, I can see that none of you have balls."


"It's just like roast ducks hanging on a Chinese BBQ restaurant. Yummy !"

"C'mon amigos! This is a bull running festival, not a window climbing festival !"

"The three in red get down here at once! Don't make me tell you twice !"
 

"I'll wait...you have to do your business eventually..."

"Excuse me, has anyone seen my toreador? He wears a cape and a funny hat."

"You call this presenting? Presenting, my ass !"








Funny Captions #81 - #100

Funny Caption #81 "I just hope you're having tea with me, not having me for tea." "That impression of a dog with your ton...