Funny Captions #01 - #20

When i came across a funny image, i couldn't help but respond it by making up captions. Over time, i came up with enough of them that i thought i would share them with the world. Hope you enjoy it as i as i made them. The list probably continue to grow. So check back for possible new ones. 😏

Feel free to come up with your own funny captions for any of these images / videos and share your sense of humour with the rest of us in the comment! Or just tell me i'm not funny! 😁 

I arrange my captions from easy to hard to understand (you're free to disagree). I'm more than happy to explain any caption you don't understand. It could be my fault.

Funny Caption #1

An inspiration poster

"Never give up in giving into temptation."

"Hard hat for hard cheese."

"A deadly diet."

"Safety first."

"Food testing in a cheese factory."

"Is this going to be a cheesy ending?"

---

Funny Caption #2

"Sir, let me introduce you to our latest TZ-3 model with all the optional extras."

"A baby crib to die for. From the crib to the grave, so to speak."

"M'am, this stroller also comes with 2 year warranty, and a lifetime firearms license."

"This pram is made by the same guy who made the chariot in Ben-Hur."

"Just in time for the coming summer sales."

"All the firearms are installed with silencers to maximize your baby comfort."

"The chrome steel make poop cleaning a breeze."

"Sir, don't touch the baby's head! These machine guns have hair triggers!"

"This stroller has been approved by the Department of Defense for low level combat skirmish."

"Hasta la vista, baby!"

---

Funny Caption #3

"The cat is out of the pants now."

"That's how I get a pussy into my pants."

"Puss, come out now. It's feeding time."

"Is that a puss in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

---

Funny Caption #4

"Give me the map! I'm lost in the jungle without it!"

"You think you can just walk away with that bag of peanuts? Dream on!"

"It's an emergency. All the pharmacies are closed."

"Tourists...it's like taking candy from a baby! Yeah!"

"Jane, give me back those divorce papers! I will never let you leave me for Tarzan!!!"

---

Funny Caption #5

"Ubu Good Dog."

"A crappy job."

"A dog's life."

"I don't mind the smell, but the pay is shitty."

"I'm in the doghouse. That's why I'm doing this."

"People! Don't pick up dog pooh with your hands. It's disgusting!"

"Hiring help is getting harder."

"Don't judge me. I'm working my way from the ground up."

"Quick question. Does this go into the organic section of the recycling bin?"

"Boss...that's not what I meant when I said I want to rake it in big!"

"If you want to get something done, you just have to do it yourself."

"Who let the neighbour dog out?"

"It must be a clerical error. I thought I put 'raking leaves' in my job application."

"I used to be a guard dog. I don't consider this a promotion."

"This is the last time I clean up after taking my pet human friend for a walk in the park."

"The secret is all in the wrist. Just go with the flow. Give yourself into the moment."

"Don't people read the dog warning sign at the gate any more?"

"Diagnosis? A low veggie diet."

---

Funny Caption #6

"Take that! Dog face!"

"Krazy Kitty kicks K-9."

"It's the 1970s. Everyone does kung fu fighting."

"It's all part of the fun of living in the Matrix."

"I didn't kick him. He reverse-butted me."

"Kitty, you watched one too many The Karate Kid movies !"

"Boy! This one really comes out of the left field !"

"I have a dream!"

---

Funny Caption #7

Mr. Giorgio A. Tsoukalos of Ancient Alien TV show

"If I'm ever going to stop believing in aliens, please strangle me with your bare hands for the love of God!"

"My natural hairstyle lends a conclusive evidence that I've a strong genetic lineage to the ancient Egyptian Pharaoh. My ancestors may have come from the Dog Star."

"The other day, I caught a flying saucer this big in my dining room. The tomato sauce spilled all over me, and gave me such a red face."

"Do people like a big juicy hamburger? Ancient astronaut theorists say 'yes'!"

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Funny Caption #8

"Please leave! This is a private moment!"

"Don't you know that tickling me without my consent is a form of torture? So stop it!"

"Hands off ! I can do stomach crunches without any help! Thank you very much!"

---

Funny Caption #9

"You want see a catfight? You get one."

"That's for calling me a pussycat!"

"I still think going to the vet dentist is easier."

"I said you should pack a lunch, kitty. A lunch!"

"I float like a butterfly, punch like Ali."

"I'll be Will Smith. You'll be Chris Rock, dog!"

---

Funny Caption #10

"I don't lay my hands on somebody's neck when I strangle it!"

"Get your hands off me you dirty apes!" (Sorry wrong movie!)

"Use the Force, Luke! The British Police Force!"

"That's not how the Force works!" - Han Solo

---

Funny Caption #11

"A computer breakthrough and through..."

"This PC model is a smashing hit."

"Code rage."

"A disassembly programmer at work."

"The infamous blue scream of death."

"He forgot to turn on autosave."

"A hacker's idea of a brute force attack approach."

---

Funny Caption #12

 

"Fashion on the go."

"A moving sale?"

"Fast fashion."

"Top of the line fashion."

"Taking the phrase 'airing dirty laundry in public' too literally."

"This isn't what I had in mind when the car dealer said he would throw in a dryer with the car."

"Some greenies put solar panels on the car roof, others laundry."

"There are more room for clothes in the car. Good for undies. Just wind down the windows."

---

Funny Caption #13

Ostrich-drawn carriage stopped by
Motorcycle Police for over-speeding in 1930

"Slow down, Ben-Hur. This bird is dangerously close to trotting. Keep it under 5 mph."

"Mr. this is an ostrich. Not a road runner."

"Driver license and ostracisation please."

---

Funny Caption #14

the Clintons' dog Buddy

"He makes no bones about it that he's happy to see you, Bill."

"He's giving you a full-on presidential reception."

"Looks like Buddy is looking for his favorite goody."

"This is a detection dog from the D.A.'s Office sniffing for dirty laundry."

"Seems like he wants to get into your pants, as well."

"There's something so oddly familiar about it..."

---

Funny Caption #15

"Yawn...your sob story is putting me to sleep..."

"These videos of yesteryears bring back so much fond memories..."

"Heehee...sorry. It's a silent and deadly one."

"Thoughts of weekend just puts a smile on my face."

"My paw smells so nice...I can do it all day."

---

Funny Caption #16

Prince William wedding day

"I can see some smut on it."

"Just a sec...William, it's almost done."

"Kate, this is a bit premature...I'm not a King yet. Please rise."

"Right, what's all this, then?"

"Catherine in the Middle."

"Uncle Willie, is it going to explode soon?"

---

Funny Caption #17

"Yeah, she's heads over heels for that jacket."

"Four heads are better than one."

"Going to movie in this outfit is an invitation to get a punch in the face. But which one?"

"I wouldn't wear this jacket for dinner buffet where you're charged by head count."

"Two's company, five's a crowd."

"Hello, whom are you talking to? I'm over here!"

"If you dare, come here and say that to my faces!"

"Does my bum look big in this?"

"How now, brown mouse?"

---

Funny Caption #18

"Mon chéri kitty...Have I ever told you how beautiful you're lately? Muah!"

"Go away, you stinky dog! Did you just eat out of the rubbish bin again?"

"Cut it out! You're just not my type!"

"Let me show you how to apply the half nelson."

"Stop it! You're freaking out the human!"

---

Funny Caption #19

"Oops...you've found me."

"This place is mine. Come any closer I'll punch your lights out."

"I believe I can fly !"

---

Funny Caption #20

"What? Something on my face?"

"Have you seen my hair curler?"

"Why are we all dressed up? Are we going some where?"

"I know you're missing your ex girl friend. Isn't dressing me up like this is going too far?"

Nursery Rhyme Rewritten: Jack and Jill

The classic children rhyme "Jack and Jill"

Jack and Jill

Went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water.

Jack fell down

And broke his crown

And Jill came tumbling after.

A modern adult version *

Version #1

Jack and Jill 

Sailed to Brazil

To taste a bit of almond.

Jack went nuts

And hurt his guts.

And Jill blurted she's pregnant.

Version #2

Jack and Jill 

Went to the drill

To join the army corps.

Jack got shot

And she was not

And Jill became a boss.

Version #3

Jack and Jill 

Went down the mill

To see how flour is made.

Jack got caught 

And turned to clot

And Jill said "What a waste!"

Version #4

Jack and Jill 

Went to the Nile 

to see a crocodile.

Jack got bit 

And lost his lip

And Jill tried hard not to smile.

* Remember that traditional children rhymes or bedtime stories are often contained violent imageries like Jack broke his crown, and Jill tumbling after. And Cinderella are full of cruelties and others contain betrayals, greed, children being eaten and many other horrors. Some say this is deliberate so to prepare the children for harsh adulthood or simply to satisfy our thirst to be frightened. Surely the adult version can be a bit more direct and graphic?

Lyrics Rewritten: "Do-Re-Mi" From The Sound of Music (1965)

 

Original lyrics of Do-Re-Mi from The Sound of Music (1965)

Doe, a deer, a female deer

(Re!) ray, a drop of golden sun

(Mi!) me, a name I call myself

(Fa!) far, a long, long way to run

(So!) sew, a needle pulling thread

(La!) la, a note to follow so

(Ti!) tea, a drink with jam and bread

That will bring us back to do oh oh oh

The lyrics is rewritten with the first word of each line to base on Hollywood's film's or actor's names. Click on the links to see the movie references.

Doe, a corpse with first name John
Ray, whom everybody loves
Me, is so despicable
Fa, no such a film title
Saw, can scare you to no end
La, La Land is a romance
Téa, is starred in "You Kill Me".
That will bring us back to Do oh oh oh

Tongue Twister Town

All the tongue twisters in this post are original. There were some help from AI chatbots.

 
"Timmy Trimble"

Timmy Trimble

Timmy Trimble tried to trim a trembling tree, 

But the trembling tree Timmy Trimble tried to trim was too tricky. 

So he tripped and tumbled and twisted his knee, 

And the trembling tree Timmy Trimble tried to trim stayed untrimmed.

---

"Trickster"

The tricky trickster tricked the trucker to trade his truck for a tricycle.

---

"Blaming Baker"

Blaming Baker

The baker baked a batch of brown bread,

But the bread was bitter and bad,

So the baker blamed the butter and bought a better brand.

---

"The Skunk"

The Skunk

The skunk stunk up the skunk’s trunk with its stinky spray, 

But the skunk’s trunk was too small and the skunk couldn’t stay,

So the skunk slunk out of the skunk’s trunk and ran away.

---

"The Shrimp and the Shrink" 

The Shrimp

The shrimp shrank the shrink’s shirt with its shrimp's shrink ray,

But the shrink shrank the shrimp’s shirt with his shrink's shrink ray,

So the shrimp and the shrink had to share a shirt that was shrunk.

---

"Larry Larryson"

Larry Larryson likes to listen to lovely lullabies, 

But the lovely lullabies Larry Larryson likes to listen to are too loud. 

So he lowers the volume and leans his head on a pillow, 

And the lovely lullabies lulls him to sleep soundly.

---

Tin Hau Temple, Yau Ma Tei, Hong Kong

After our lunch at Tin Lung Heen at the Ritz-Carlton in West Kowloon, I thought I would have a little walk around Kowloon area, in particularly Yau Ma Tei, (not Nathan Rd where I've walked many times). I start the walk with Tin Hau Temple in Yau Ma Tei.

For those who're interested in Chinese mythology, especially Taoism, or just have a look at the exotic and the bewildering Chinese religious iconography, visits to temple is a fun and free way to learn it. Outside weekends and religious festivals, they're quiet contemplative place that are oases of the hustle and bustle of busy Kowloon.

As I mentioned in my travel log about my visit to Tin Hau Temple in Aberdeen, Hong Kong that because HK was - and in a few remaining pockets that still is  - a fishing village, this leads to the widespread worship of Tin Hau (or Empress of Heaven), which is prayed to by fishermen for her protection from the peril of the sea (for this job description, she's sometimes also known as Goddess of the Sea, or Goddess of Seafarers). And so we can expect there exist a number of Tin Hau temples in HK.

The paifang (or gateway) that marks the entrance to
the park that locates in front of Tin Hau Temple

This temple is dated as far back as 1800.

For many tourists, even if they don't know about Tin Hau Temple, they would've probably heard of Temple Street. It's Tin Hau Temple that gives rise to the name of that street, which runs off the Temple's ground (see above map). With Tin Hau being the fishermen's protector, once upon a time not so long ago, the temple was adjacent to the water, but widespread land reclamation in HK has made this temple landlocked as it is today.

Decoration on top of the temple's roof
(Click to enlarge)

As mentioned before, the top of the roof of a Taoist temple is richly decorated by a pair of dragons reaching for the purple pearl. Additionally, a carp appears to leap up to reach for the same pearl. Fish symbolises abundance in Chinese culture. For the fishing community, the fish is also their livelihood, and so adds an extra dimension to the symbolism. Typically there's also sculptural scenes from traditional Chinese operas.


Because Kowloon is more densely populated than Aberdeen, you can expect that this Tin Hau Temple is larger than the Aberdeen counterpart. Naturally, it's more packed with religious icons.

The temple's namesake goddess. She's draped in a silky embroidered robe with
feminine motif of lotus and pearl necklaces.
Quite different from the more masculine Tin Hau's counterpart in Aberdeen.

"With the Wind Ears" and "Keeper of the Book"

"Thousand Miles Eye" and "Keeper of the Golden Seal"

If you visit or read my post on Tin Hau Temple in Aberdeen above, you would have met our good monster duo "Thousand Miles Eye" and "With the Wind Ears". They're holding different weapons in the 2 Tin Hau temples, but they're unmistakably the same pair of good old friendly monsters with fearsome faces and their distinct features of eye and ears that set them apart.

Alternatively, if you have read 1 of the 4 Chinese Classic novel Journey to the West, or watch the myriad of film and animation adaptions, you would have met this pair near the very beginning of the story. When the magic monkey was hatched out of its supernatural rock, his birth created a such quake that literally rocked the Heavenly Palace, and so the Jade Emperor sent these 2 to find out what caused such a racket down below on Earth. After all, only them possess such video and audio equipment in their heads that allow them to see and hear things so far away.


In addition to this pair of monsters is another pair of officials (in Ming dynasty fashion) standing next to them. They're the Keepers of important things: "The keeper of the Book", and "The Keeper of the Golden Seal" . Most people call the 1st bloke the Book Keeper. I want to avoid that he could be unintentionally mistaken for people working in a professional related to accountancy. The Keeper of the Book doesn't work with numbers at all (well, let's say numeracy isn't an important prerequisite for this job), he works with words, or names. Having said that, there's a goddess actually called the Keeper of the Book. Ok, we can't win.

As for the seal, it's always considered a symbol of power - in fact, the embodiment - of the Emperor, or in this case, Empress. It's not unlike the sceptre or orb that some European monarchs holding in their majestic poses (in statues or portraits).

Unlike the sceptre or orb, the seal has a practical use other than a symbol. All imperial documents would have been stamped with this seal to seal its authenticity of authority. On 2nd thought, the spectre makes a handy back-scratcher while the orb makes excellent door stopper. I stand corrected.

Atrium of the main temple hall

Incense or joss coils

As usual, there's a plethora of Taoist deities accompanied the main deity of Tin Hau.

This side altar is most likely a altar for Guan Gong (關公) or Lord Guan - the deified
 General Guan Yu.
But he also shares the altar with a number of other deities.
Well, HK is very crowded, and so are its metro, trams, altars or heaven. As below, so above.

An (Dutch sounding) European family offering some incense burning to the temple. Gods bless them!

As usual, there aren't just many altars within a temple halls, except for the smallest of temples, there're also several temple halls within a temple complex.

Oil lamp for your convenience for burning joss sticks. No need to BYO matches or lighter.

Shadows of incense/joss coils cast on the ground

Bai Wuchang (白無常)

At a little corner on the ground is a small altar with several figurines of various deities. This guy with a tall hat and his tongue hanging out isn't a band member of Kiss. His tongue is far longer. He's Bai Wuchang, meaning White Impermanence. He's a member of a pair called Heibai Wuchang (黑白無常), or Black-White Impermanence.

Yin-Yang symbol that captures the essence of Taoism of Duality.
Taoists believe all forms come from the
dynamic (indicated by wavy line) alternations of 2 polar opposite forms.

Yes, as you have noticed by now, there're a lot of pairing of deities. Taoism loves duality (in this case, black and white). But they aren't really Taoist deities, but rather Chinese folk legend. But Taoism, folk legends, Buddhism, etc, are all blended into a harmonious whole that made up the Chinese religion.

They're working in Hell, and reporting to the better known Ox-Head and Horse-Face (another duo). You'll meet them in one of the temple within Tin Hau temple.

There're lots of other deities in this main temple alone. I won't go through all them. Chinese mythology is "deities mountain, deities sea" (神山神海). Have fun figuring it out yourself.

Next to the main temple in Tin Hau Temple is the City God Temple (城隍廟 Chenghuangmiao in Mandarin). Foreigners who have been to Shanghai would've probably heard of this name. Forget about that. There's nothing like it except in name only.

Entrance of City God Temple.

The wooden couplet hanging on either side of the door warn visitors that this is the gateway into a Chinese netherworld. Or more correctly, a place for judgement of your worldly sins. The couplet basically says (my humble translation),

"The legal punishment of this world may have been spared.
The moral dragnet of the underworld can't be escaped."

Enter at your own peril...let's do it. And so I stepped in.

Altar showing King Yama (閻羅王) in the middle, and various
other judges on both sides of him

King Yama, sometimes called Judge of the Dead, King of the Law (of Karma). When sinners descend to Hell, they will be judged by various judges.

Let's have a closer look at them.

Right side of the altar

Our partner-in-Hell Hei Wuchang is standing at the extreme right with his long dangling tongue. His bosses Horse-Face and Ox-Head are on the left. A sinner is being shackled, and its leash being held by Ox-Head. He's waiting to be judged.

On the extreme left of the altar is Bai Wuchang

"Wuchang" is translated as "Impermanence" here. In everyday usage, this word has the implication of some unexpected event, especially death. The 2 Wuchangs embody the spirit of impermanence, which is a central idea to both Taoism and Buddhism. And they're the foot soldiers of Hell, which is the final destiny and destination for all. The ultimate expression of impermanence of human existence.

To find out more about Chinese Hell, you can read my visit to the Ten Courts of Hell in Haw Par Villa in Singapore for one hell of a good time. Better still, visit there in person.


To cheer yourself up and to pray for less suffering of any kind, we can go to Guanyin Temple, which locates 2 doors from Tin Hau altar. Guanyin is arguably more popular than Tin Hau. So it's not a surprise to find her here. She's everywhere in both sense of the word.

Guanyin Temple

A British tourist or expat asking for instruction for offering to Guanyin

In one of the side halls in the temple, there's a worship of rocks, which presents the animism aspect of the Chinese religion. Standing here looking at this scene, one can very easily appreciate how the ancients moved by its mystical , ethereal otherworldly quality produced by smoke and sunbeams. For a moment, you're transported to a remote mountainous area far removed from the ultra-modernity of HK.


Many things to look at and study. One of the most interesting and colourful aspect of Chinese culture. Can be quite fascinating if you give it a chance to understand it. It's anything but boring.